Stress Building

As we started our 10-hour drive back home yesterday from South Carolina, I could feel stress building for both me and Chris. We were getting short with one another, and the conversations were less fluid. We had taken several days off work and were about to face the pile of work that accumulated while we were gone.

Internal Dialogue

This morning when I woke up, I tried to have my quiet time (little exercise, reading, reflection), but all I could think about was what I need to DO DO DO. I stopped after only about 3 minutes into my quiet time and unloaded all of my tasks to a piece of paper, making a plan for my day/week. Then the tapes played… “Why didn’t you make this list yesterday?! Omg you had 10 hours in the car! This is ridiculous. You don’t have time for quiet time today. You need to get to work NOW!” Then I felt sad because I realized I have so many TO DOs that I am not going to be present with the girls this week while they are home here for Spring Break. (I didn’t have any one-on-one time with them while in SC. They brought a friend and were in their own world much of the time.)

Self Judgment

Lots of judgment, shame, and sadness. At that point, I realized I need this quiet time more than anything else today. The quote I attached to this post was in today’s devotion, and it was exactly what I needed to hear.

“It’s not how much you do, it’s how much love you put into doing it. It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.” ~Mother Teresa

Be Valuable To Yourself

Almost immediately, I began to breathe more deeply and relax my shoulders. I shifted my narrative from, “Do, do, do, so you can be valuable and feel good and productive!!!” to “Love while you do whatever it is you do today. That is what will bring you and others joy. You’ll get done what needs to get done.”