The fear of rejection

A few nights ago, I attended a beautifully organized event – a cool venue, servers walking around with crackers covered with crab, and a Baltimore celebrity speaker. The event was a little intimidating to me because it was filled with many potential clients.

The speaker discussed the importance of storytelling and how the best place to be is in front of the room presenting, not in the sea of other business owners trying to differentiate themselves. He was speaking my language: Don’t stay safe and small! Get out there and be seen! Tell your stories! I felt like he was talking directly to me. I was getting so fired up.

Toward the end of the talk, he said he wanted a volunteer to come up to the front so he could help them tell a story. He looked directly at me, pointed, and said, “You look like someone who would like to tell a story.” I froze. I felt like a saber-toothed tiger had just entered the room. My heart stopped beating and dropped into my stomach, and I could feel heat rising up into my neck and face. “Oh, God, no,” I thought. Then, his eyes shifted to a woman in the back of the room, and he said, “Oh! We have a volunteer. Come on up.”

The tiger exited. I took a deep breath. I was safe.

The Lies We Tell Ourselves

But then I was pissed! What the heck just happened!?! I had a fun opportunity, and I FROZE. I told myself in those brief seconds the story that people would not want to hear from me, that I wasn’t important or interesting enough. What a cruel story!

I so want to be comfortable enough with myself to get in front of a room filled with ANY people and speak without prepared content, a PowerPoint or an agenda.

Next time, I want to say yes and just having fun being me – just to know that I can. I certainly don’t crave the center of attention, but I also don’t want to hide behind mere INTENTIONS of being brave. That’s BS. I want to be in the arena. I want to stop telling myself mean stories that keep me safe and small.

What a powerful and exciting reality check for me that I still have so much room for growth. I almost look forward to that next big scary moment so I can choose to say YES. Almost.

Let’s Connect

Join me in your leadership journey to become a brave leader with breakthrough results. I invite you to sign up for my newsletter to be alerted to new Dare to Lead™ programming or schedule your first consultation below.